Yay for people

At last! an opportunity for socialization. I got invited to a graduation party! This will be my first real contact with high school friends in… a year. Mind you, last year I didn’t give a crap about my appearance, was totally immature, severely depressed, and dealing with the death of my foster mom and my transition home. I’m now 50 or so pound lighter, better at pretending to be happy, and riddled with a lovely combination of social anxiety and intense loneliness. This will be interesting. How can I fend off the “OMG YOU’RE SO MUCH THINNER EAT A SAMMICH” that I know I’ll hear? My bets friend knows about my issues and will be there– she tends to overfeed me. I want to be normal, not piggish. Gah. Also, my vegetarianism may throw them all for a loop given how much I used to love meat. I’m really nervous.

I felt bad today, so I did 2 hours of DDR and some strength training. I thought about running stairs, but my knees were feeling really nasty and I figured I had to stop or else have trouble tomorrow. I also had some frozen yogurt. That was hard. Everything’s been hard.

But tomorrow I’m gonna call some photo studios and see about a new job. I can’t go back to Kmart. I’m so ashamed of how I left.

Stair running hurts in a very good way.

I ran up and down the stairs as fast as I could for 20 minutes today. It felt so good to be really sweating again. I could really feel my body just burning all that nastiness. I think I’ll do it again tomorrow while my mom’s at work.

I also stopped being a greasy lout and washed and dried my hair for my sister’s play thing tonight. It was a hideous play, actually just a preview, preceded by several hideous numbers by hideous elementary schoolers with hideous recorders. Hideous. Unfortunately, I will be forced to attend the actual show. My mom says, “She’d do the same for you.” Funny- none of my family attended the play I wrote and directed, or the play I had a major role in, and I have to watch my sister say about 3 lines, poorly and too fast. Not to mention the dancing. My God, the dancing. *shudder* My sister wants to be a theater teacher, but she can’t act or teach. Hmm. She says “The stage has always been my home.” Pfff, bullshit. She’s done shitty after school theater for about a year and can barely memorize 2 lines at a time, and can’t stand in front of more than 5 people to talk without an anxiety attack. So of course, she’s destined for greatness. *rolls eyes* Excuse me while I gag.